The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
