you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
