Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
