in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
