Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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