Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize