My balls are so social today.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize