Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
