You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
