You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
