saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize