oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
