I can tuck mytits in my pants
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
