i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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