yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
