She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
