even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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