either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
