Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
