Swine flu. Run for my life!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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