If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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