what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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