you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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