Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
