I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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