we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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