the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
