Redeem this text for a blowjob
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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