I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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