I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
