Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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