great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
