So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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