How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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