Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
