Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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