worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
