ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
