brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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