I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i think i just lost a toe
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
