He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
