One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
