i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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