their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think my fart just growled at me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The ass gains better be worth it
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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