they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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