DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
