FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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