she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
