His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
