peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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