O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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