So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize