Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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