bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
