she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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