Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
