Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
