Nicole vs. Life
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
