Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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